Spent a lifetime trying to satisfy
a mother that could only see the
ugly side of me.
Spent three years chasing a boy
who loved the chase more than
he did my affection or well-being.
Spent a few years after stitching
the broken arteries in my chest.
Spent a couple of months between
a few individuals and I could not
say I remember their names.
Spent two years with a woman so
certain she loved other women that
she taught me how to be one, just
not the one I wanted to be.
Spent a month fighting tooth and
nail to stop the beating of my own
heart before I realized I liked the way
it felt thudding against my rib cage.
Every single time I breathe,
it pulls the stitches and
I think of you.
A pleasant surprise you always were,
though I’m terrified they’ll burst.