I still have the first poetry book I ever received, dated all the way back to my childhood. I think my dad got it for a couple of cents at a garage sale. It had someone else’s handwriting on the inside, along with various check marks next to the previous owners favorite pieces. (I read those ones first, we didn’t have the same taste.)
What some would call a peculiar, slightly nostalgic event wound me up at a picnic table outside of my local park with a duo I hadn’t really spoken with since I was a little girl. Now I can’t say for certain that my recalling of this event would help anyone. I suppose my original purpose for posting it was merely to a spread a message – their message – which seemed to have given me a much different perspective on my adult life and the way in which I deal with it. So perhaps it could help enlighten someone else, and I like to hope that’s a purpose of mine.
Why don’t I feel full yet? Content. I feel lost on my path. Or maybe mine just doesn’t lead anywhere at all.
Your nonsensical musings will never leave you, but they do serve their own purpose.
No matter how whiny you get when it doesn’t go your way.
It’s true. If you want something bad enough, trust me, you’ll do it.
There’s no way you can not do it.
It’s already seeped into your soul and matured your thoughts.
You’ve already begun to pave the path.
From such a young age, too. So young.
Then what makes it so hard to accomplish?
You’ve got a hidden desire to avoid the rush.
You’ve got to want it more than anything in the word.
You’ve got to bleed for it, beg for it.
You don’t want to do that right now.
You want to love, and gaze at the flowers along the way, grow stronger, fuller.
Deep down you want this to take it’s time. You’ve slowed it to a brisk walk, you’re not running at all anymore.
Truth is, in this lifetime, you may never really reach the end of your path. Most don’t.
But you will get there eventually.
What would happen if I chose to run instead?
Good question, most don’t ask.
And don’t you remember? You used to run, you used to run until your legs gave out.
You started to look back on all the little moments you lost along the way.
Your memory became hazy, your visions and morals blurred into something inconceivable to who you are now.
You were lonely as ever. Here with me.
And in that loneliness you realized the real prize all along was the journey itself.
The journey that you so unabashedly wish to ignore again.
Humans really are so petty with their own self-destruction…
… So what you’re saying is it’s best for me to just stop and smell the flowers from time to time?
Depends. How fast do you want this to end? Personally, I don’t really think you’re the ‘stopping’ type.
But it’s true that you finish your path at your highest level.
You can either choose to skip some parts, and lose out on the sight seeing,
Or you could take your time in a brisk walk, and finalize your small, inconsistent details into a stone legacy for others, as equally as confused as you, to follow suit.
I do love a well-paved path.
Most do, but they never tend to it enough.
I’ll let you in on a little secret though – there are no rules on how to mind your path. Subsequently, there’s no answer for any of your questions.
If you look carefully, you will notice there is far more than just flowers along the way.
You control the speed, the weather, all your dreams flitting up in the clouds, sometimes you even intertwine with another person.
All of it is in your hands.
You are the only one capable of paving the way to your future. And how you choose to pave it will depend on how long it lasts.
That all sounds extremely difficult.
It will always be difficult, and I guarantee you will falter from time to time, but it doesn’t always have to be so damn scary.
At the end of the day it’s natural to us all, we all just want to be back on our paths.
With the free will, the options, the choices and the scenery.
After all, if you’re not looking ahead, you’re here.
– BIATA, ‘wisdom can be gained from anything, even the darkness.’
Meet your Aware Conscience.
Or really whatever you want to call it. It’s a voice that has this airy vibe to it which insinuates it has many names but doesn’t go by any one specifically.
Speaking of a voice, that’s the base of it’s communication with you. Conscience, as I like to call it, is universal. We each have it. Some typical names are intuition or a guardian angel. They’re all the same in their own sense, but all a little different too. I’ll explain later.
People are usually apprehensive to approach the subject but those bold enough usually ask one of three questions.
- What happened?
- Where is your mental state now?
- Do you plan to get them covered?
The rest usually don’t have to ask, their looks give them away.